Thoughts Through Tears, Chapter Two…
It’s becoming too much, the heart-breaking acts we hear about on a daily basis – often we hear about them on multiple days now, as more details come forth. This morning again, reading the details of the death of the young 23-year old black man in Colorado, stopped by police because he was literally dancing to music in his earbuds as he walked along a street – he made an attempt to stop the music so he could hear the police, and it escalated from there. The last words, recorded, of this kind young man:
"I can’t breathe. I have my ID right here ... My name is Elijah McClain. That’s my house. I was just going home. I’m an introvert. I’m just different. That’s all. I’m so sorry. I have no gun. I don’t do that stuff. I don’t do any fighting. Why are you attacking me? I don’t even kill flies. I don’t eat meat. But I don’t judge people, I don’t judge people who do eat meat. Forgive me. All I was trying to do was become better ... I will do it ... I will do anything. Sacrifice my identity, I’ll do it. I'll do it. You all are phenomenal. You are beautiful and I love you. Try to forgive me. I’m a mood Gemini. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Ow, that really hurt. You are all very strong. Teamwork makes the dream work."
He's dead now. Dead. I have seen pictures of his sweet face. The tears came again this morning. And if I am in tears, a total stranger, imagine what his family – his friends – are going through right now. I can’t take any more of this, and I am not a young black person. I’m an old white person. I can’t read one more of these stories. I can’t look at one more police video that was tucked out of sight for three months until someone with clout, someone IN the system finally insists it be revealed.
People who have NO REASON to be afraid decide they are — or they MIGHT be — in terrible danger. So they dial 911.
Why don’t the white people in this country just “man up” a little? Not in a physical way, but in their minds, in their hearts….NOT like the ones with AK 47s over their shoulders – NOT the ones waving confederate flags – NOT the ones spreading hate and racism through their neighborhoods. Those kind of “man up” people are cowards to the bone. That’s WHY they need to carry all that crap, all that fear, all that armed agression, around. I mean the “normal” white people, the good guys and gals, who just need to “man up” by adjusting their thinking a little and realizing that black skin is not a badge of evil; that black -skinned people have souls and hearts and minds and families and pets and dreams and worries and talents and fears, just like they themselves do.
They do not deserve to be killed for dancing on the street. No one does. I wish I was brave enough to do that.